14/07/09: Food

Breakfast
1 (M) banana - 1.5pts
1 (M) Starbucks skinny latte - 2.5pts

Lunch
1 (L) jacket potato - 4pts
Baked beans - 2.5pts

Snacks
1 (M) pear - 1pt
1 pot WW black cherry yoghurt - 1pt

Dinner
330ml Fanta twist - 2.5pts
Salad - 2.5pts
Chicken - 4.5pts

TOTAL: 22/22pts

We didn't go running today for no particular reason other than I couldn't wake up as usual and I didn't feel too great this evening. I'm going to call an early night and if I wake up early tomorrow, I will go for my first run of week ten. My shin's still a little sore so it might be for the best.

13/07/09: Food

Breakfast
1 grande skinny latte from Starbucks - 2.5pts
1 medium banana - 1.5pts

Lunch
Deli sandwich - 8pts
Crisps - 2pts

Dinner
Chicken - 4.5pts
WW Beans - 4pts

TOTAL: 22.5/22pts

12/07/09: Food

Brunch
Foot long turkey Subway (with salad and light mayo, no cheese) - 10pts

Snacks
Japanese rice crackers - 6pts

Dinner
Chips - 5pts

TOTAL: 21/22pts (+ 5 bonus pts)

Not exactly the healthiest choices today, but I had a lot of salad in my Sub? Not good enough? Hmm, I guess I'll just have to try harder from tomorrow.

Week 9, 3rd Run

Time: 1815
Duration: 3min run & 1min walk x9 (36min)
Distance: 4.17km
Weather: approx 22C - partly cloudy - cool breeze

Today's run wasn't as fast as Friday's, but that wasn't a problem because we were only 100m short compared to Friday anyway. I think yesterday's crazy swim-a-thon didn't do me very good as my muscles were aching and heavy when we started running. By the time we finished, my right shin was a little sore and I felt a little dizzy but I'm absolutely fine right now.

I'm looking forward to completing my 10 week programme - only one more week to go! After that, I'm going to concentrate on training for my 5K run in September. At the moment, I definitely can't run the whole of it. However I'm going to look up some training methods and I'll take it from there - can't promise I'll run all of it by then either though!

11/07/09: Food

Breakfast
40g Fruit n Fibre - 2.5pts
100ml skimmed milk - 0.5pt

Dinner
Chicken fajitas @ Chiquito's - 14.5pts
Cocktail - 4.5pts

TOTAL: 22/22pts (+ 2.5 bonus pts)

Yes, it doesn't look like I've eaten a lot today, but it was because I was trying to save my points for a meal with my friend at Chiquito's. I also went swimming at midday so I got a couple of bonus points in the mix too. It's only 2100 but I'm actually quite tired so I think I'll be off to bed in a minute. Goodnight!

Week 9, 2nd Run: Woah... parp

Time: 2200
Duration: 3min run & 1min walk x9 (36min)
Covered: 4.23km
Weather: 17C - cloudy - cold breeze

Today's run was pretty amazing. I didn't think I'd have energy in me to do it, but I managed it somehow and at a pretty fast pace. Before when we used to go on a run, I didn't really feel like we were "running", more like jogging. However, today was definitely running and even my boyfriend noticed the pace had picked up a little. I don't know what made me want to go a little faster but I did so and surprisingly it didn't feel too bad! It was tough, don't get me wrong, but I didn't dread only having a minute to walk and catch my breath. I took my Heart Rate Monitor with me and checked my pulse during the three minute runs and it was reading around 170-180bpm, which I don't think is very good (well, it sure isn't healthy) and my average heart rate overall was around 163bpm, which again isn't very good. I may have got carried away with day dreaming about my 5K race but I need to find my perfect pace again because I did feel a little burned out right at the end. Anyway, overall it was a great run and I actually enjoyed running a little faster. But lessons for Sunday is to maybe slow it down a tiny bit and also I need to not eat at least 3 hours before my run on food that makes me produce gas - I mean I've heard of "second wind" but my goodness, I didn't mean to have one so literally!

10/07/09: Food

Breakfast
1 tall Starbucks skinny latte - 1.5pts
1 medium banana - 1.5pts

Lunch
Salad with dressing - 1.5pts
Ham - 2pts
Baguette - 5pts

Snacks
1 primo Costa skinny latte - 0.5pt
1 pot of strawberry WW yoghurt - 0.5pt
1 small glass of Irn Bru - 1pt

Dinner
Spinach, red & yellow peppers with dressing - 0.5pt
Chickpeas - 2pts
Croutons - 2pts
Feta cheese - 3pts
1 small white wine - 1pt

TOTAL: 22/22pts (+ 5 bonus pts)

Week 10 WI results: 13st 13.75lb

I lost 1.5lb... it's actually weird because every other blog I've read lately mentioned that they all expected a gain this time round. I'm sure we all had good reasons to suspect it but surprisingly none of us actually gained - even more surprisingly we all lost weight!

So, I'm now in the 13's, which I'm over the moon about. Not only that, but I'm now eating 22 points per day and I have officially lost 10% of my body weight since joining WWO!

I've been doing alright with my water pledge, but I need to get serious about something else which is sticking-to-my-points-allowance. And I mean it this time. No more faffing around with eating nothing or eating too much. I need to really focus on this because firstly, it's not healthy to over eat or starve myself, but secondly (and just as important as my first point) it's causing major havoc with my mental self. After my pizza fiasco, I just felt completely hopeless and I don't want food to do that to me; in fact, I don't want anything to do that to me and that's including myself for putting food in my mouth in the first place! So, my pledge is that I'm going to eat 22 points per day unless I can justify honestly why I've underspent/overspent my points (i.e. saving points and using saved points, illness, etc). And this time, I'm even going to try and eat my 22 points before WI... ooh, scary! I'm going to carry on trying to drink 1.5L a day as well - though I shockingly didn't even do 1L today (unless you count the two coffees I drank).

I'm also trying to be really sensible with my food too. I am making wiser food choices whilst thinking about my points these days and my boyfriend and I have decided to lay off the microwaveable meals in exchange for fresher ingredients and meals we can prepare. That's why recently I've been eating ham salad with a bit of bread during lunch time at work. I'm going to give myself a little more variety next week, though.

09/07/09: Food

Breakfast
1 instant coffee (with skimmed milk) - 0.5pt
1 bag of Kellogg's mini breaks (original) - 1.5pts

Lunch
Baby leaf salad with dressing - 1pt
Ham - 1.5pts
Seeded roll - 4pts

Snack
1 small Starbucks skinny latte - 1.5pts
Watermelon - 2pts
500ml Irn Bru - 3pts

Dinner
70g Fruit n Fibre - 4pts
1/4 pint skimmed milk - 0.5pts

TOTAL: 19.5/23pts

08/07/09: Food

Breakfast
1 sesame roll - 2.5pts
1 latte - 1pt

Snack
pineapple - 1pt
2 biscuits - 2.5pts

Lunch
Salad bar (new potatoes, cucumber, lettuce, tuna, red onions, lima beans) - 5pts
1 boiled egg - 1.5pts

Snack
1 large banana - 2pts
1 tube of Fruit Pastilles - 2.5pts

Dinner
80g dried pasta - 4pts
1tsp pesto - 0.5pt
small glass of white wine - 1pt

TOTAL: 23.5/23pts (+ 1.5 bonus pts for walking briskly)

Fluid: 1L Volvic water, 1 small latte

After yesterday's lapse, which I still hate myself for, I still managed to eat over my points today. Sure, it's only 0.5pt over unlike yesterday's 19, but I did think that I'd try hard to cut back today in the run up to Friday's WI. Hmm. I now do have a good reason to fear Friday.

07/07/09: Food & ultimately a binge

40g Fruit n Fibre - 2.5pts
1/4 pint semi skimmed milk - 1pt
WW yoghurt - 1pt
mutli seeded roll - 4pts
salad w/ dressing - 1pt
ham - 1.5pts
4 finger Kit Kats - 5pts
small latte - 1pt
6 slices of pizza - 25pts

Total: 42/23pts (+ 4 bonus pts for running)

I've been in a horrible mood since getting home and I was home alone so I caved in to some pizza. I feel so fucking stupid, it's not even worth any sympathy. I need a slap. I'm so angry with myself that I thought the only thing I deserve is to throw it all back up again but I knew that would be a scary road to travel down so I have this disgusting food bubbling away in my stomach. I want to cry and punch something. WHY DID I DO IT?!

Week 9, 1st Run

Time: 0500
Duration: 3min run + 2min walk x7 (35min)
Route: R Rd, W Ave, WE Lane, WE Gdns, H Rd, D Rd (C Ave on 2nd lap)
Weather: 15C - cloudy - cool breeze
Sleep: 7.5hrs

I was very conscious about my pace today, making sure I didn't burn out after the first 3 laps like last time. Fortunately, it wasn't so bad and I'm happy to report that I completed it even after Sunday's hiccup. I was focusing on my pace and breathing today whilst thinking about the 5K run in September. I'm still very nervous about it and was asking myself today if I can even run the whole thing or if I'll end up doing my walk/run. A big part of me wants to run the entire 3 miles but I'm going to be realistic and just train as much as I can in the next two months and see what happens!

06/07/09: Food

1 banana - 1.5pts
400g watermelon - 2pts
salad with dressing - 0.5pt
ham - 1.5pts
multi seeded roll - 4pts
1 Costa primo skinny latte - 0.5pt
noodles - 5pts

Total: 15/23pts (I physically can't eat a lot today because of my TOTM.)

Fluids: 1L Volvic water, 1 mug of green tea, 1 coffee

adidas Women's 5K Challenge

Last night, I signed myself up to the adidas Women's 5K Challenge on 6 September. I don't know what made me do it. I think it could be partly down to the fact that I felt lousy yesterday after my "run". I'm nervous but really excited at the same time. It definitely pulled me out of my slump yesterday and I have a goal to try and aim for. This has made me look forward to tomorrow's run, which was something I was dreading before. So, I got my mojo back and I'm less pissed off about yesterday. Hurrah! Two more weeks until my programme finishes and I'm going to try and train to do a 5K run. I bought a heart rate monitor to, well, monitor my heart rate and probably at the same time try to learn what a HRM should be used for! I have two months to get myself prepared for the 3 mile race and I'm really looking forward to it (though, yes I am still very nervous). :D

05/07/09: Food

40g Fruit 'n' Fibre - 2.5pts
1/4 pint semi-skimmed milk - 1pt
Uncle Ben's long grain & wild rice - 5.5pts
Sainsbury's GBTY ham & cheese chicken kiev - 4.5pts
500ml Irn Bru - 3pts
200g M&S couscous with veggies - 6pts

Total: 22.5/23pts (+ 2 bonus pts)

Running let me down but I am happy to report that I've eaten nearly all of my points - woo!

Week 8, 3rd Run: So this is what failure feels like

Time: 2130
Duration: 3 min running + 2 min walking x3 (15 min)
Route: R Rd, W Ave, WE Lane, WE Gdns, H Rd, D Rd
Weather: 22C - partly cloudy - cool breeze
Sleep: 13hrs

I could only manage 3 sets today before I started to feel extremely dizzy with a painful stomach ache. My whole face burnt up and my breathing was out of control. This is what happens when you run dehydrated and whilst on your TOTM. It was a nightmare. I said to my boyfriend "I think we ran too quickly at the beginning" - which we did because we managed to do a lap in 3 sets instead of the usual 4 1/2, but that wasn't the biggest problem. It started when I felt like my head was pounding every time we started running and I had to breath much more than usual, struggling to exhale because my head pounded every time I did so. By the third time I experienced this my boyfriend called an end to the run (out of pure kindness). He said I'd be stupid and stubborn if I did any more and he was seriously right. So, I retired after 3 sets and dragged myself back to the house feeling completely miserable and defeated.

Of course, by the time I get home my stomach ache stops and my dizziness turns to just a dull headache. The only thing that didn't change was my mood and I still feel it now. That annoyed and angry voice inside me that is making me feel like a total failure. This sounds really stupid but I could honestly cry right now. I know deep down that if I drank enough water today and wasn't on my TOTM, I would've easily done this run. So I have no idea why I feel like such a failure. I don't want to cry because it isn't really my fault; it's just the way it is and I did my best... but I hate myself for not completing this run. This would be the first week on my programme that I've not completed a week and I think that's probably why I feel so awful. The feeling of guilt for letting myself down is probably much more powerful than the stomach ache and the dizziness I suffered earlier. I just knew inside me that this wasn't the kind of pain or faintness that I could overcome if I carried on running, so I had to stop.

Oh, god - look at me - I'm trying to reason with myself... urgh, I sound like an idiot. I need to get over it and move on. Whilst dragging my body back to my house and doing my warm down stretches, I did wonder if my diet was good enough for a runner. I'm a little random with my points and though I eat less than I used to, I eat all the wrong stuff. I need more lean meat and good carbs from meals made from scratch that includes no empty calories [she says, whilst sipping her Irn Bru...] I think I can make Weight Watchers work with my running and I need to seriously pull my finger out and sort out my diet. Gah, I should've gone to the health food store today! Sigh. Today is not a good day and I can't go to bed yet because I'm no where near tired and I haven't done the bit of work I was supposed to do before I went for a run. I did manage to tidy up my clothes and did a bit of laundry which wasn't exactly on my list of things to do... TODAY SUCKS! :\

Measurements & jibber-jabber

*yawn* Good morning... My TOTM has kicked in and it has made sure I slept very well. That's right, I slept so well - from midnight until 1300 today in fact - and I could honestly sleep for another three more hours. Mmm, lethargy. Anyway, here are my measurements after two weeks off with how much I've gained/lost since in brackets:

Chest - 103.5cm (-1.5cm)
Waist - 94.5cm (+1.5cm)
Hips - 113.5cm (-0.5cm)
Thigh - 70.5cm (-1.5cm)
Arm - 37cm (STS)

Ehh... overall I lost 2cm, which isn't great but I'm bloated and too tired to care too much. I might actually start measuring myself every two weeks instead of every week because my measurements fluctuate so much that it kind of makes sense to wait for two weeks before I whip the measuring tape out.

I'm supposed to be having a busy day but I've already scrapped one idea, which was to go into town to get a new sports bra and visiting the health food store. However, I'm still adamant to tidy this place up because it honestly looks like the wreckage after a major earthquake. Also, boyfriend and I will be running at 8pm and by then I went to get a couple of things done for work as well so I don't have to do it after the run. So, 101 different things to do and zero motivation... freakin' super.

04/07/09: Food

1 bag Kellogg's mini breaks (original) - 1.5pts
1 veggie fajitas (without any cheese, guacamole, sour cream or salsa) - 11.5pts
1 bowl of fries - 5.5pts
1 can Pret a Manger grape & elderflower drink - 2pt
WW baked beans - 2pts
1 ham & cheese chicken kiev - 4.5pts

Total: 27/23pts (used banked 4pts from yesterday)

Fluids: 1L of Diet Coke and 1L of water

Mexican food at Chiquito's was my splurge of today. I felt full and well fed by the end of it so I'm chuffed. I've also promised myself that this week, I'm going to stick to my points. I realised that yesterday's underspend of points is NOT good. Yeah, I managed to save the maximum 4 points for today's meal but it's not right. I can't justify doing this to myself and always crossing my fingers for a weight loss every WI! When I get into the 13's, I'm going to be consuming one point less so I better make the most of my 23pts and that's not so I can eat a bar of chocolate or eat lots of bread, but spend it wisely and healthily.

I think I'm failing at my challenge of drinking 1.5 litres of water a day. Does 1L of Diet Coke even count as water anyway? Maybe it does but it's not exactly the healthiest way to take in fluid, I guess. I raised the subject "Is fruit squash bad for you?" on the WW forum and got an echo of "no, as long as it's got no added sugar in it", which sounds absolutely fine. But what worries me is the ingredients - seriously, what is phenylalanine (it's in Diet Coke as well as a No Added Sugar Robinson's Fruit & Barley squash)? A great suggestion was to add mint leaves or lemon slices instead, which actually sounds very refreshing and I will buy mint leaves and lemon tomorrow on our trip to Sainsbury's.

No swimming today :(

And it's not because I woke up late surprisingly! It's because I have started my TOTM. I know it had to happen sometime (well, once a month they say) but I'm gutted I couldn't do the one thing I was really looking forward to this weekend. Ah well, I did some gentle walking around central London with my boyfriend looking at the stalls and people celebrating Gay Pride (loved the atmosphere!). We also did a spot of wandering around the National Gallery so that was pleasant. Probably didn't burn nearly as much bonus pts as I would have had I gone swimming but never mind. I have a semi-busy day tomorrow with running and major tidying up to do so I should be alright.

Because it's my TOTM, I'm worried that I'll have to miss out on Wednesday's swim as well. I might go for a brisk evening walk during lunch time or with my boyfriend after work instead. There's no stopping me! :P

Week 9 WI Results: 14st 1.25lb

Last post for tonight (but the most important)...

I lost 1.75lb this week and as usual, I'm very thrilled about this. Even more thrilled because I've officially lost a little over one and a half stone since 1 May! I still am gobsmacked at how far I've come on this journey already. I really feel like a new me.

I managed to stop myself from eating a chocolate bun today. We had a little team tea this morning and I grabbed a chocolate bun out of habit. I took it back to my desk but just let it sit on a piece of paper for the whole day. I looked at it and thought "I grabbed it, but I don't actually want it" and I was really happy with myself. My will power was very strong at that moment and I wanted to wallow in it for the whole day so I let it sit on my table whilst I casually shrugged off the idea of scoffing it. Impressive, huh? I should try and remember that attitude whenever I feel like I could eat my right arm off!

Week 8, 2nd Run: Confidence

Time: 2130
Duration: 3 min running + 2 min walking x7 (35 min)
Route: R Rd, W Ave, WE Lane, WE Gdns, H Rd, D Rd (C Ave on 2nd lap)
Weather: 23C - partly cloudy - cool breeze
Sleep: 8hrs

I just can't seem to wake myself up early these days. It could be that I'm due my TOTM soon but I'm not 100% sure. I thought it could probably be down to the weather as it's so humid and hot during the night that it's hard to get a decent night's rest this week. Also, it's a Friday and I've had a pretty busy week at work so it's all catching up. Mind you, I reckon it's actually because I've never really been an early bird and I'm awful in the mornings. But I would still like to change that. I need to get more serious about going to bed early (hah, it's already quite late today!), cutting out the caffeine and sugar in the evening so I can doze off easier. Hmm, I shall note that down as one of my challenges. I was thinking maybe I should make every Friday's run an evening session so I have a little bit of a variety. Technically I've not failed because I'm still doing my run, just later on in the day. Definitely something I shall consider.

On a better note, I can definitely feel more confident running when I get into it these days. I actually felt like a runner today. My breathing is still a little erratic in my first three minutes but I can normally calm it down by breathing a little deeper and spending my time walking to concentrate on breathing regularly. However, after the first set, I've got a good breathing going which makes running a little bit easier. I notice myself feeling more focused (or at least looking the part) and I guess that's why I feel like a runner. Week 8 is drawing to a close soon and I'm not worried about week 9's programme, which becomes a 3 minute run plus 1 minute walk times by 9 (36 minutes) by the second run of the week. Sure, it makes me a little nervous but I'm not worried - I can confidently say I'll be able to do it. How fast or how healthy I'd feel during it is a complete mystery, but my gut feeling is that I'll survive it even if I can barely jog it and I have a slight cardiac arrest during it. All good as long as I don't give up.

03/07/09: Food

1 Innocent pure fruit smoothies (strawberries & bananas) - 2pts
1 salad bar (rice, carrots, cucumbers, sweetcorn, new potatoes, green beans, read onions, olive oil)- 8pts
1 primo Costa skinny latte - 0.5
Chickpeas with red pepper and spinach - 2pts
40g feta cheese - 3.5pts
3tbsp M&S reduced fat french dressing - 0.5pt
Croutons - 2pts

Total: 18.5/23pts (+ 4 bonus pts for running)

I'm saving points for tomorrow because I feel like I deserve a little, I repeat, a little bit of a splurge. :)

02/07/09: Food

2 medium brown bread - 2.5pts
2 1/2tsp peanut butter - 2.5pts
1 banana - 1.5pts
1 Muller light mandarin yoghurt - 1.5pts
1 Tesco's light choices salmon and cucumber sandwich - 4pts
2 boiled sweets - 1pt
1 white coffee with 1 1/2 tsp white sugar - 1pt
stir fry (noodles, veg, fry light, sweet chilli sauce) - 4pts

Total: 18/23pts

Fluid: 1L of water, 1 can of Diet Coke, 2 mugs of coffee... not very good, is it.

As usual, I couldn't bring myself to have my full 23 points the day before WI. We're running tomorrow and I had a restless night yesterday because it was so hot, so I'm also too tired to eat.

I'm currently super addicted to You Are What You Eat. I love Gillian McKeith's no-bull tactics and cheesy visual messages. LOVE IT. I don't care that she's just some random skinny lady who likes to eat goji berries until the cows come home. I actually find her programmes inspiring; I immediately want to go out and get some raw veggies and chow it down with a big smile. Mmm!

Right, got my WI and my run tomorrow morning so I'm going to just chill out this evening and go to bed early.

01/07/09: Food

40g Fruit n Fibre - 2.5pts
1/4 pint skimmed milk - 0.5pt
coffee and skimmed milk - 0.5pt
M&S salted mini pretzels - 1.5pts
1 medium jacket potato - 2.5pts
baked beans - 4.5pts
2 granary bread - 3pts
Chicken - 2pts
M&S oven chips - 5pts

Total: 22/23pts (+ 2.5 bonus pys for swimming)

Fluids: 1.5 litres of water, baby! Plus, 1 mug of coffee and a 500ml Diet Coke.

Had a serious hankering for some chip shop chips, a large meaty pizza, a donner kebab, a chicken burger, a beef burfer, lots of mayonnaise and ketchup, a battered sausage, gallons of lager... all at once. I've had a super shit day where nothing went right and I didn't even enjoy my swimming that much because I was in such a horrendous mood by the time I got to the leisure centre.

I think I've calmed down a bit now. I cannot wait to wave goodbye to today. I went swimming quite late today so I better hurry up and have a shower and get ready for bed. Another early morning for me tomorrow!